Bitch

In which I sleepily ponder the many meanings and uses of the word.

I have been talking about the concept of being a bitch with my two best friends on SL, Cat and Toni. It has always been striking to me that, like 'fuck' the word 'bitch' is protean in its uses, functions, and meanings. Maybe, in itself this is something to consider, since men do not have an equivalent word.

Women and men use 'bitch' quite differently as well, in fact I am starting to believe there is almost no overlap in the terms. This is likely due to the specific function it has in very different systems of social relations. When women use it, they may mean themselves, for it is quite common for a woman to label herself a 'bitch' and this label has a dual function -- it announces and recognizes positive qualities such as forthrightness and stubbornness, while simultaneously recognizing how little those qualities are typically valued in a woman. "I know, I'm a bitch, what can you do?" said with a shrug.

When a woman labels another woman a bitch, she usually is referring to that other woman's linguistic capacity. Someone is a bitch when they trounce you in a war of words, making a cutting remark that leaves you only armed with l'esprit d'escalier. This can be a recognition ranging from the humorous to the bitter: "You, bitch!" being the only rejoinder possible in a given situation.

When men label a woman a bitch however, it seems to refer to her not being mean, not being cutting, not even perhaps being an obstacle. A 'bitch' to a man is a woman who simply, for whatever reason, does not care about their feelings. Since men are socialized to believe that women care about emotions, and particularly their emotions, perhaps it is as shocking as a dousing of cold water to encounter a woman who does not, in fact, give a damn.

I do not mean that the woman in question is being problematic in any way, except for a refusal to invest emotionally in the exchange. "Not my problem," from a man, will be a lot less loaded than from a woman.

Discuss.